After telling Helen throughout the trip that driving on Asian roads doesn’t look that tough, I finally got to put my money where my mouth was with a trip up to Taman Negara. After a short hop from Langkawi back to Kuala Lumpur and with a questionable degree of planning, we sat in McDonalds at the airport and took photos of Google Map’s calculated route on the laptop screen for later reference. Once we were handed the keys to our shiny 4×4 and received some proper directions we felt a bit more confident that we’d make it out of the city and 200 miles onto Malaysia’s largest national park.
Driving in Malaysia is quite simple for Brits since the road rules are pretty much the same, that is apart from the swarms of insane motorcyclists. With little regard for anything on the road, least their own lives, they dart between the lanes of traffic, often magically appearing in the space you need to move into. But as the saying goes, in S.E. Asia ‘might has right’, so forcing our way across 5 lanes of stationary traffic in our 4×4 was probably a bit easier than it could have been. With KL behind us the traffic thinned out and the roads swept through rolling hills lined with palm oil plantations until this gave out to the beginnings of jungle.
At 130 million years old and untouched by Ice Ages and natural disasters the jungle here is amongst the oldest primary rain forests in the world. We arrived at the start of the wet season and were expecting the place to be infested with leeches and pouring with rain. We were really lucky with the weather and the sun shone for our entire trip but the leeches did introduce themselves by trying to burrow their way into our feet through our socks. We thought the attractive look of tucking our trousers into our socks would solve this problem but they’re persistent little buggers.
The suspended walkways were the highlight at 50 meters above ground level it was an exhilarating experience being up in the jungle canopy. We trudged up another mountain with breathtaking views and spotted a bloody big wild-boar, frogs, spiders and monkeys.
We stayed in the Traveller’s Home a unique half-board hotel with chalet’s in the garden and a communal house where we relaxed in an Ikea clad interior and enjoyed their slightly ropey DVD collection and free range over the fridge.
After more exercise in 7 days than we’d experienced in the preceding 3 months it was time for a well deserved rest on the Malayasian island of Langkawi. To save a bit of cash and to try and reduce the massive number of flights we’ve been booking we opted to take the boat across from Georgetown. With the nightmare of the Koh Tao crossing still fresh in our minds we dosed ourselves up with travel sickness pills and reluctantly boarded. To our delight the sea was like a mill pond and the crossing was super chilled with only blue skys and sunshine on the horizon.
Being a tax free island it’s a popular spot for Malaysians to visit and stock up on dirt cheap booze and fags. Not wanting to be left out we filled up our room’s fridge and spent the next three days drinking and relaxing on the deserted beach. When we’d sobered up sufficiently we hired a motorbike for a quick tour of the island but soon realised there was more fun to be had back on our balcony working our way through the liqour mountain.
Georgetown, on the Malaysian island of Penang, was an old Straits settlement and so is crammed full of British colonial style buildings and character. Chilling out here was meant to be a welcome relief from our recent outdoor pursuits. Our flight was delayed so when we arrived on a Saturday night during the school holidays the town looked like Ibiza, packed with young holidaymakers out drinking booze sold at London prices. Consequently we struggled to find any decent accommodation and what we did settle for would have been great had it not been for the adjacent nightclub.
In the morning I woke to the realisation that something was not quite right with my face when I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise the person staring back at me. A trip to the doctor and £50 later I was told I had some sort of allergy and was given injections, creams and pills to be getting on with. I spent the rest of the day exploring behind my sunnies and thankfully it had cleared a lot by the time we took high-tea at the Eastern & Oriental hotel; an English tradition that we feel must be reintroduced into normal life. Seeing all the Christmas decorations there got us really excited about the forthcoming festivities so we listened to carols in our new and greatly improved hotel room at a grand old Chinese mansion. In the evening Mark re-lived a much missed treat from our last trip with a shave from a barber in Little India.
After leaving the jungle we had a mammoth day of bus journeys until we reached Berastagi in the Karo highlands whose cool air was a light relief from the sweltering jungle. Known for its two nearby active volcanoes, the following day we attempted the smallest one, Gunung Sibayak (2450m). With legs not fully recovered from the jungle trek we ambled our way up the fairly safe and dry path to the volcano summit. For the majority of the climb it felt like any other mountain but suddenly when nearing the top, the fresh air became sulphurous and all you could taste was eggs. It was just as you’d hope a volcano would look, steaming, ferocious and something not quite of this planet. We sat down wind of the eggyness and tried to enjoy our packed lunch unable to fully appreciate the amazing views as the clouds refused to clear.
The climb down was much more luscious with thick jungle undergrowth that often masked the ramshackle steps we were attempting to following. The three hour descent was really spectacular and we were highly rewarded at the bottom with a session in the hot spring baths. Naturally heated water from the volcano was pumped into several pools at varying degrees of temperature. I’m afraid bathing in this eggy warm water was so relaxing we forgot to take any photos. The minerals clearly had some kind of impact as they turned our wedding rings blue and despite being laundered twice our bathers still smell eggy.
Heading off to Indonesia was Mark’s idea and something I was a little concerned about. Sumatra has had numerous natural disasters of late and with our track record it didn’t seem like the best place to visit. I couldn’t have been more wrong however and for me this has been the absolute highlight of the trip so far. Landing in Medan we saw a country that was far more similar to India than any other on this trip, making us feel right at home. The general standard of living was nowhere near as high as in Malaysia and the costs of food, transport and accommodation reflected this. We boarded a cramped minibus to Bukit Lawang, a town on the edge of the jungle that was devastated in 2003 by flooding. The area is famous for jungle treks and one of the few places on earth to see wild Orangutans. We were soon accosted on route by ‘Jungle Man’ Thomas who became our local guide and insisted Mark ride the remaining journey up on the roof of our bus like a real local.
Our two day, overnight in the jungle experience began early the next morning and after an hour we were all about ready to collapse and die. We’d not expected the terrain to be so hilly, nor such a lack of trails. It felt like a true Tarzan experience though, swinging on the vines clambering through the densest jungle imaginable.
During a brief rest stop we munched on some local fruit and saw our first Orangutan ‘Sandra’ with her 6 month old baby. They were so beautiful and we felt really honoured to be experiencing this in such an intimate way; just us and our two guides. They gracefully swayed through the canopy towards us and accepted the bananas we placed in the trees for them. I had a massive lump in my throat and was so pleased we’d been able to live out Pauline’s ‘Judith Charmers’ experience on her behalf.
The jungle was abundant with wildlife; snakes, spiders, bees, gibbons and macaques. Thomas described much about the flora and fauna to us. Every time he stopped to explain somthing we had a chance to catch our breathe before heading off again. After lunch we were visited by ‘April’ our second Orangutan and she allowed us to get much closer. At times she ate fruit from us that we held between our teeth - though she may have just wanted a cheeky monkey kiss. Once all the fruit was gone she also ate my left over rice directly from the Banana leaf I held out for her. This made all of the hideous physical activity to get here worthwhile.
Our camp was described as a tent but a plastic roof would have been more accurate. Nevertheless we kept dry when it rained and were fed and watered until ready to explode. By 7pm it was pitch black outside and we whiled away the hours playing silly games. We all slept fairly lightly, trying to not imagine what may be crawling across us in the night.
Tying several tractor inner tubes together our guides constructed an inflatable raft. We all climbed on-board and floated back down the river to our hotel through raging rapids. It was a bit like a water ride at Alton Towers and definitely much easier than the getting there. Back on shore we were filthy, smelt disgusting and totally exhausted but felt it was one of the best experiences of our trip so far.
It was great to see Steven waiting for us when we arrived at the airport and together we headed off to the hotel in downtown KL. Our first night of culinary treats consisted of traditional Indonesian street food sitting on plastic chairs while rats ran around our feet and a severed cows head eyed us from a market stall across the road. We know how to show our guests a good time.
Walking tours of the city were in order the following day and we meandered through Malaysia’s rich cultural mix of Chinese, Indian, Malay and colonial quarters. We experienced some highly inappropriate shop signs and the weirdest foot massage ever where tanks full of small fish actually ate the dead skin from our feet and legs; quite pleasurable once the hilarity subsides. After a traditional Malaysian Christmas meal we decided to continue our new hobby of drinking in rooftop bars of swanky hotels. In KL this meant a visit to ‘Traders’. On the 32nd, the open air bar with its own swimming pool was perfectly located opposite the Petronas Towers. I was concerned that the ‘Mankini’ would make a reappearance like last time Mark and Steven were out drinking together in pool bar, but thankfully they behaved themselves. Instead we shared a much missed bottle of red wine, courtesy of Mum & Dad. Bring on Indonesia where £30 should buy us more than just one bottle.
Despite some crappy weather conditions we also headed for ‘Sunway Lagoon’, KL’s version of Wet’n'Wild. Next to several women in their traditional burkas I felt particularly underdressed in my cosie and received some curious looks. In hindsight however they could have just been overcome by my two dazzlingly white companions. After the guys entertained themselves on the ‘diddlums’ we watched ‘Quantum Of Solace’ then turned in for the night before our epic trip to Indonesia started the following day.
To recuperate after the scuba course we headed for Krabi’s idyllic Railey beach. Thankfully only a quick long-boat ride from the mainland. It is true that Thailand’s beaches are fantastic with white sand, clear water and nestled between impressive Karst rock formations. The only downside was that it was packed with hundreds of other foreigners and cost a small fortune for those with meagre backpacker budgets. Nevertheless we had a lot of fun whiling away the hours on the beach and in the evenings partaking in the local tipples. Lynz became rather partial to the local dark rum and knocked back a considerably impressive quantity of it. Mark, ever the gentleman, wouldn’t let her drink alone so it fell to me to escort the drunkards home at night. Mark thought his luck was in when two attractive English girls seemed to know his name and where he grew up, quite odd when on the other side of the world. It transpired they were Tim’s old uni flatmates and had all been out drinking together years before. Awaking the next morning to powerful hangovers I also had the bonus of a bad case of travellers belly. I spent the next couple of days recovering whilst Mark and Lynz enjoyed the famed beaches. Bangkok’s airport opened just in time for Lynz’s flight to be re-instated but due to frantic re-routing Mark and I began our planes, trains and automobiles journey down to Kuala Lumpur to meet Steven, our second temporary travelling companion.
We had always planned to do a PADI Open Water Scuba diving course during this trip and Thailand’s Koh Tao island was the cheapest places learn. Thankfully Lynz was also up for the challenge so late one evening we left Bangkok on a cramped sleeper bus for what became the most horrendous journey of our trip to date. The first leg was on a bus and despite being squashed and arriving at 4am it was fine. The second leg however was a 2 1/2 hr boat crossing over to the island. I had my eyes closed from the first second but Mark assures me it was the scariest ride of his life with enormous waves engulfing and swaying the boat making about half the passengers chunder. I assumed the fetal position until the torture was over thinking the whole time how I was definitely my mother’s daughter. To our credit, both Mark and I both held our stomachs though we swayed back and forth for hours later ack bon dry land.
Our first night on the island was spent in a scummy pit with damp linen and bed bugs so we hastily checked out and into a new place that offered the course. Caz & Asa arrived later in the day and along with our instructor Alex, we began our classroom sessions that afternoon. We weren’t expecting to have to use our brains on this trip so the lessons were somewhat of a shock to the system. The following day’s pool activities were more fun and we were excited about our dives out at sea. Unfortunately the water didn’t calm any for journey to the reef and consequently in our four following dives I managed to vomit on the boat, on the surface of the water and under water into my regulator at 16m deep - not pleasant. Sea legs I ain’t got.
Despite my illness and poor visibiity due to bad weather conditions it was great fun and we all became fully certified. Now I’ve had time to recover I look forward to diving elsewhere in the world, where the seas calmer of course!
We begrudgingly got up at the crack of dawn and set off to the Khao San Road to start a tour of such epic proportions we still feel exhausted by it now. The trip was sold as a ‘River Kwai Tour’ though a more honest description would have been a ‘Petrol Stations of Thailand Experience’. Thanks to a minivan with a knackered radiator we stopped every 30 minutes or so to douse the engine with water, turning a 3 hour journey into a 5 hour monster. The driver however was determined that we shouldn’t miss out on the full itinerary so we made up time by travelling at break-neck speeds.
We saw and crossed the famous bridge over the river Kwai, rode elephants, visited a series of waterfalls, floated down river on a bamboo raft and re-crossed the bridge by train. A visit to the P.O.W memorial site was particularly poignant for Helen as her Great Uncle died building the same railway line in Burma and we spotted many other graves belonging to soldiers in his regiment.
By the time we got back to minivan we’d been going around 12 hours and were looking forward to a speedy return to Bangkok. Unfortunately after a short way the van finally seized up and we were stranded by the side of the road until the ever smiling driver called his mate to take us home. Back on Khao San and completely worn out we recharged on Red Bull and set off to experience the shadier side of Bangkok’s culture with a visit to a Ping Pong show (if you don’t know what that is please don’t ask). Though quite educational we’ll never look at a birthday cake or a banana in the same light again.
Leaving Laos was very sad for us as it has probably been our favourite country so far. Making up for this however was the addition of our lovely mate Lynzie Mac to our globetrotting party. Taking a train journey over the border we found our sleeper plagued with tiny insects that flew in through the open windows, attracted by the bright fluorescent lights that they refused to turn off. As you can imagine we arrived in Bangkok not feeling at our best so when Lynz surprised us with a Birthday/Christmas treat to join her in her gorgeous hotel it felt like a gift from the gods. Clean sheets, a lovely pool and complimentary massages!
When we finaly prized ourselves away from the luxury we explored the city visiting the Royal Palace, the World’s Largest reclining Buddha and many of the local bars. The most impressive was definitely ‘Vertigo’ an open air bar with great cocktails and an amazing view of the city from the 64th floor.
The protests in Bangkok got very heated during our stay with reports of shootings and bombings, culminating in the airport closures. Despite all this, the only effects we felt were enormous traffic jams due to road blockades and a slight feeling of paranoia after a taxi driver warned that my red t-shirt was the colour the opposition wore.
